I couldn’t remember what the saying was, so for the last 24 hours or so I’ve been repeating in my head “How we spend our days is….how we spend our days?” I knew it wasn’t quite right, but for whatever reason, it was a little bit calming. Then I googled it and learned that it’s actually “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.” Annie Dillard, from The Writing Life, which is ironic because when I’m not in the midst of the mom-ing life, I’m racing to the writing life. Also, very, very true. How we spend our days is what adds up to how we spend our lives.
Let me tell you why I have been ruminating over this quote for the last few days.
We had a grouchy, grumpy, overtired few days last weekend and I knew half of it was my own overdone-ness. The other half was a grumpy toddler who dissolves into a whiny puddle if she doesn’t get enough sleep and a fussy baby who must have just gotten the memo about fussy being an option. He went from the chillest baby on the block for his first 5 months to not wanting to be put down. Ever. They’re both recovering from whatever the heck that was (maybe that blue blood eclipse moon?) and resuming their normal sweet selves, but the combination of the three of us grumps (plus one Michael who does. not. do. mornings) didn’t produce the most relaxing or even pleasant weekend. I suppose we all have those days, when you can’t get out of your own grumpy cloud, but I was determined to start the week on a better foot. And apparently that started by reminding myself that how we spend our days is how we spend our life. Ahem, grumpy mom, these are the days, the most precious, perfect, whiny, exhausting days. No matter how early they get up (and it’s creeping earlier by the day), you’ve got to try to remember not to waste these days reminding them how early they dragged you out of bed.
I also reminded myself that the day starts anew every morning, with a clean slate for the whole family. And if I’d only get myself into bed earlier I could really capitalize on that! We have better days when we get out and spend the afternoon at the park around the corner. Maya can swing for hours and Noah is warming up to it. He’s mostly content to just sit in my arms and watch his sister play.
She doesn’t always wear a dress to the playground, and Noah doesn’t always look so stern or blinded by the sunlight. Sometimes it’s not worth changing Maya out of whatever we started the day in just to go to the park, and sometimes Noah is totally overtired and won’t crack a smile. You win some, you win some. Very, very good hair day: documented. This girl finally realized, after 2 years and 4 months, that she could cheese for the camera. I’m so grateful she only realized it now, and now I think it’s absolutely hilarious to see that cheesy grin.
I’m finally getting used to my replacement camera and trying to bring it with me when I can. It helps when the playground is deserted so you don’t look like a weirdo taking pics of all the other playground kids, even though I only ever care to capture my own!
Here’s to appreciating the days ahead, no matter what time the tiny humans wake us up.